APPRAISAL

You should get a nose job.

That lipstick color makes your lips look even thinner than they already are.

You should go to church.

You need to be on medication.

You should stop drinking.

You will always be an alcoholic.

You're an addict.

Are you anorexic?

Are you pregnant?

You have social anxiety.

You're mean just like Grandma Betty was.

You're a drunk just like Grandma Betty.

You'd be a bad mother.

I've never met anyone with anxiety as bad as you.

Calm down.

Don't you want to be happy?

Bisexual is just sick.

God doesn't make mistakes.

You need to have a reason to be depressed.

You should do your nails.

You should see a doctor.

Nobody thinks like you.

The way you think is wrong.

Suicide is selfish.

Stop complaining.

Lots of people have anxiety.

Lots of people have depression.

What's WRONG with you?

WORD DUMP

People often tell me not to worry because I'm smart. I would trade all the intelligence in the world for some coping skills.


I look forward to the eventual deaths of my abusers. But most of all, I look forward to one death: my own.


They use you and abuse you. And then they throw you out like yesterday's trash.


The only thing keeping me alive at this point is my anger.


I've always been so obsessed with death, I didn't have time to live.


Chains of abuse never end.


They took away the one thing I love: alcohol.


The suicide trance is not for the faint of heart.


My love affair with death started when I was eleven.

...

NOW I UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU TRIED TO SAY TO ME

Starry, starry night 
Paint your palette blue and gray 
Look out on a summer's day 
With eyes that know the darkness in my soul 
Shadows on the hills 
Sketch the trees and the daffodils 
Catch the breeze and the winter chills 
In colors on the snowy linen land

Now I understand what you tried to say to me 
And how you suffered for your sanity 
How you tried to set them free 
They would not listen, they did not know how 
Perhaps they'll listen now

Starry, starry night 
Flaming flowers that brightly blaze 
Swirling clouds in violet haze 
Reflect in Vincent's eyes of china blue 
Colors changing hue 
Morning fields of amber grain 
Weathered faces lined in pain 
Are soothed beneath the artist's loving hand

Now I understand what you tried to say to me 
And how you suffered for your sanity 
And how you tried to set them free 
They would not listen, they did not know how 
Perhaps they'll listen now

For they could not love you 
But still your love was true 
And when no hope was left inside 
On that starry, starry night 
You took your life as lovers often do 
But I could have told you, Vincent 
This world was never meant 
For one as beautiful as you

Starry, starry night 
Portraits hung in empty halls 
Frameless heads on nameless walls 
With eyes that watch the world and can't forget 
Like the strangers that you've met 
The ragged men in ragged clothes 
A silver thorn, a bloody rose 
Lie crushed and broken on the virgin snow

Now I think I know what you tried to say to me 
And how you suffered for your sanity 
And how you tried to set them free 
They would not listen, they're not listening still 
Perhaps they never will