TRY HARDER

Fear has never worked as a motivator for me. If fear is the sole tactic in getting me to join/believe your cause, you are out of luck. It is why I will never join an organized religion or support Donald J. Trump. Next!

SMILE FOR THE CAMERA!

Update of sorts: I've lost 9.5 lbs in 2018! I've drank 4 days in 2018! I'm feeling ok for the most part. Working on my personal health and happiness. Strangely looking forward to this Thursday...

I'M SIMPLY NOT THERE

SHE DOESN'T KNOW WHO HE IS

We're going to Disney in 2 weeks to take advantage of the Flower and Garden Festival at Epcot. Note: I am planning to get drunk and stay that way for at least 3 weeks. In the interim, medical marijuana is helping me to cope.

My stash, in the form of edibles (sublingual drops). You can hate me now.

At first I hated it because it is certainly different than alcohol. The last time I visited the marijuana store, the lady told me it takes time to figure out what works/find the right combination. She said, "You have to be your own chemist." So I've been easing in with CBD/Hemp oil, then CBD/High THC (small amounts), then toying with my daytime Sativa hybrid, and finally starting to use the Indica I got sick on (taking half the dose now). I've had mixed results, both good and not-so-good, but it *is* keeping me off the booze, which I am eternally grateful for. The less I drink, the better it is. I've been sober all year (64 days)! I've also lost a total of 6 lbs. in the New Year! Despite all these pluses, I am borderline, doom-and-gloom, drowning in fear. But that is my normal state while not partaking. I don't know if I'll ever escape...

Speaking of escaping... listening to this new tune by Smooth McGroove (while the Indica starts to tingle me) is a nice trip...

WEIRD FISHES

"I hit the bottom and escape."

STAY THE COURSE

A lot of good things happening... I just need to hold it together and survive myself.