OZMA & DOROTHY

I dunno, therapy wasn't so good today. I felt very vulnerable about the things we discussed, and his reaction to them. I mean, I'm glad I got a job and things are looking up, but no matter what I do, I always feel disconnected from the world. I feel like an onlooker instead of a participant. I'm afraid to even allow myself the minutest of joys, because I've been trained to reject it because it doesn't belong to me. Dr. Ben said not to be hard on myself, or judge myself, but I don't know how to not do those things. I'm still ever drowned in fear, and there is nowhere to run to. I keep finding myself in endless corridors with endless twists and turns, and they always lead to one thing: DEAD END.