THE FLOWER OF EDEN

I think I've found my writing style: Gothic romance. I think reading Nathaniel Hawthorne has changed my life. I've only just finished "The House of the Seven Gables," but now I need to read more. I think "Twice-Told Tales," which is a collection of short stories, will be next on my list. There is a Vincent Price lead here; had it not been for watching him act in the film "The House of the Seven Gables," I might never had picked up the book. I also enjoyed him in the film version of "Twice-Told Tales" (hence why it is next on my list).

Another style/inspiration for me is L.M. Montgomery, the author of the "Anne of Green Gables" series (I just noticed the gable reference!). Though a bit later than Nathaniel Hawthorne, it's the innocent, wholesome prose that I love about her books. Hawthorne has this too, but in a darker shade. Let me be clear: my stories will not necessarily be Victorian. But the style of my writing will be drawn from that classic, dusty cobweb feel.

I'm getting that passion again--that desire that I had just sworn away but a few hours ago. I don't like these constant and turbulent ups and downs. While I enjoy that I am on a small high at this moment, I dread the inevitable fall that is bound to follow. I would prefer a more constant monotone of stability, no matter how dull. I need calmness more than anything right now.

WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TO LOSE?

Edgar Allen Poe inspired H.P. Lovecraft; H.P. Lovecraft inspired Stephen King.

"Perhaps someday, you will inspire someone." My therapist to me, yesterday. And yes, he's good. And no, I really don't care who is lying to me at this point, or even if they are lying or telling the truth. For the first time in 36 years I am starting to finally believe in myself, and my abilities. And you know what? It feels fucking good, man.